Someone made the comment to me not long ago, “For all that you have accomplished, you are a very down-to-earth person.” Little does that person know that I have a 4-year old ego police living in my house. Let me explain.
This summer, my daughter and I were at a water park getting dressed in the dressing room. My daughter points in horror, “Mommy, what happened to you? Someone scratched you! Look! Look! Oh my goodness!” I look at the top of my leg where she is pointing. I kindly say, “Oh honey, those are stretch marks.” Yeah, thanks to you and your baby brother!
Then a few days later I was sitting on the floor in my daughter’s bedroom and she pushes my head down so she could see the top of my head. “Mommy, the top of your hair is black. Did you not take a shower today? Ewww, gross. Why is your hair black at the top? Mine is one color? Well, mommy hasn’t been to the hair salon in a few months.
“Mommy, did you just eat chocolate? Your teeth are black! Why are your teeth black, mommy? Those are lovely fillings from the 1980’s
“Mommy, I just colored a picture of you! I even drew all of the spots you have all over your face. I hope I never have spots all of my face like you have.” Those spots are called freckles.
“Mommy, everytime you wear blue jeans your po-po hangs out the back. You have a big bottom.” Then daddy says, “Mommy doesn’t have a big bottom, she has a coin machine! We also call that crack.” Honey, say no to crack. It’s bad. Very, very bad.
It’s impossible for anyone living in our home to have a bloated ego when we have a daily reminder of all our imperfections. Thanks, Conley!
If you know of anyone who needs their ego to come back down to earth, just send them our way. I can hear it now…”Sir, why does the top of your head have no hair?”…