Posted by: kateraidt | August 22, 2009

Party Etiquette – How To RSVP Properly (come on people, get with the program!)


Yes, I’m pissed. Yes, I am screaming at you. Bear with me here.

I love hosting parties: birthdays, baby showers, holiday parties…you name it, I’ll host it. BUT, I am sick and tired of the disrespectful, severey-lacking-of-common-sense people who are invited to these parties. Let me explain:

In big, bold letters displayed on the front of the invitation reads PLEASE REPLY BY (date) or RSVP – which stands for a French phrase, “répondez, s’il vous plaît,” which means “please reply”. Of of the last 10 parties I have hosted, only 25% of the guests ever replied. I hosted a baby shower last month. 30 wommen were invited – only 7 replied coming – 23 women showed up! And then 2 of the women who replied coming, emailed me just hours before the party saying they weren’t coming. I am trying to figure out if it is shear ignorance or disrespect as to why people (of all ages and genders) practice such terrible party etiquette. Party guest need to understand that for a host of a party to have + or – 5 guests makes a big difference in cost. Many parties costs the host $30-100 per person. So, if even 10 guests don’t reply, that puts the party host $300-1,000 in the hole. Not cool.

Here are the rules of engagement: (please forward this to every human body you know)

* When you receive an invitation, call and reply immediately that you are coming or not coming. If you are iffy and not sure of you can or want to go, that is a “No”. Do not call days or hours before a party and change your status. It’s a “yes” or a “no”. When you say “yes, you get your butt there, when it’s a “no”you stay home.

* If you receive an Evite invitation, do not ever click the MAYBE option. MAYBE doesn’t help the party planner and I have found that the people who click MAYBE are people-pleasers who are too chicken to click the NO button. People, it is a YES or NO.

* Don’t bring your kids (or even ask) to a party other than a birthday party for a child. I can’t tell you how many mothers call and say, “My husband can’t watch the kids. Can I bring them to the party?” The answer is NO.

* If you can’t afford a gift, don’t come empyt-handed to a party and give the big BS line, “I have a gift for you but totally forgot to bring it. I’ll give it to you next time I see you.” And we all know what happens next: Party-goer avoids you at all cost. One of the best gift ideas for moms is a “coupon” of free babysitting. This type of gift is far more valuable to me than something bought at a store that will collect dust.

* When someone gives you (or your children) a gift, always write a hand-written “thank you” card. I have given a dozen gifts to people who I never hear from afterwards. Not cool. If someone hosts a party for you, send a “thank you” card immediately. I hosted a baby shower four weeks ago. I have not received a call, text message, letter or smoke signal from the mom-to-be. Extremely not cool.

In Summary: I feel much better after emotionally barfing all over you. Thank you.

I have decided that next time I host a party, I am going to stand at the door with a clipboard and for each person who arrives who did not reply I am going to say, “I’m sorry, but I never heard from you. Please head back to your car.” And for the moms who bring their unmanageable kids to my party, I am going to slip four shots of cappuccino in their sippy cup.

Happy party-going!



  1. Over the years I have come to realize that those who are “proper” are not always polite. If I had to choose one, I would prefer to be the latter. I do RSVP to invitations, by the way. : ) I found this by doing a web search for how to properly word an RSVP for an important shower I am unable to attend.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: