Were you spanked as a child? How did that make you feel? How did that really make you feel? Scared, hurt, fearful, pissed, resentful towards your parents? You bet. Parents spank because they want to believe that their child is going to say to themselves, “Gosh, now that my father has whapped me three times and left red marks on my leg, I am going to try and be the best little kid I can possibly be.” What parents need to know is that spanking makes kids more aggressive and creates more misbehavior. In order for your children to stop bad behavior, it is your job as a parent to stop physical discipline first – not the other way around.
Why do parents spank? Because their kids are “out of line” and “deserve it”, right? Have you ever experienced a boss or co-worker who was “out of line”? In my 20 years in business, I have not only seen grown adults with bad behavior, but with atrocious behavior. What would happen if you whapped your boss on the leg, face, head or butt because he “deserved it”? Would you lose your job or have security called on you? Absolutely! So why is it socially acceptable for an adult to hit a child when they are out of line, but if an adult hits another adult there are serious consequences?
Also, how much do you weigh? How much does your child weight? Since my 3-year old weighs 35 pounds and I weigh 150, I am 5 times her body weight and almost double her height. How do you think it would feel if a human 5 times your body weight (750+ pounds) and double your height (10 feet tall or more) were to hit you with all their might? Consider that next time you want to hit your child.
When a parent spanks, it is because the parent has lost control of their emotions. There are dozens of effective, positive alternatives to spanking that don’t include physical abuse: taking away privileges, time-out, no television, no video games, or simply walking away can be your most powerful tool. But no not ever hit a child.
If you question this message because someone told you spanking was okay, or you are thinking “everyone else is doing it, so why can’t I?” – please educate yourself and read a dozen parenting books written by professionals and doctors who have studied the short and long-term effects spanking has on children. Listen to what the experts have to say. PS. Your mother, best friend and next-door neighbor are not the experts.